It was bound to happen. After finishing Act I (all the notes are in Finale – still have to do text, dynamics, articulation, etc., but all the notes are in) and basking in the glow of John Clodfelter and Mei-Chuan Lin’s exceptional performance of the Concerto for Piano and Wind Band (the performance and my pre-concert talk are viewable here), I ran headlong into writer’s block.
Last week I turned 49 and wrote almost nothing. I don’t know if it was the usual “just finished something big” letdown or Seasonal Affective Disorder – we got 10 inches of snow on my birthday and below-zero temperatures right after – but oof, last week was a waste. I need to remind myself it’s OK. This is not a sprint. Still, I ended up doing a lot of soul-searching, and I wonder if I need to not be a music professor for a while beyond this sabbatical. This is an ongoing debate.
That first act? 40 minutes. 1113 measures. And it is good. As a composer, I’m at the top of my game. It feels cohesive, it feels suitably theatrical, the music and libretto are never at cross-purposes. Just like with the snow, I’m digging out of the writer’s block this week. I’m starting Act III, scene 2 (the final scene, with the possible exception of an epilogue). My librettist Dave, after a brief health scare (he is doing much better), is cranking away on Act II.
“But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight/Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight” – Bruce Cockburn
I choose to kick at the darkness.
PS – Слава Україні! Героям слава!